Advice From God

Dear God,

Yesterday, you made reference to an eighth day of Creation, something that isn’t mentioned in the Bible.

My curiosity can’t hold out until you volunteer the information. I have to ask: What did you create on the eighth day, God?

- Louie

Louise,

I am so glad you asked, but I have a feeling you won’t be so glad when you get the answer. On the eighth day of Creation, I made an infinite number of parallel dimensions, each with an alternative version of the reality that you know. This infinite number of dimensions was an unavoidable consequence of free will, which I made when I created human beings.

You see, each alternative reality represents another possibility – the world as it would have been if someone had made just one different decision. Morally, that means that even if you live the most ethical life possible in this reality, in another dimension, you’re an incurable sinner.

That means that, no matter how hard you try, you’re doomed to burn in Hell for all eternity, and it’s all your fault… or at least your fault in some other dimension. Prepare the asbestos.

- God

Dear God,

I recently found out about Second Life, an online virtual world where hundreds of thousands of people live in an alternative reality. You are credited with the original creation of life on Earth. Did you create Second Life as well? If so, was that on the eighth day, or what?

- Ned

Ned,

I did not create Second Life. As I understand it, some programmer named Norm (or something like that – I can never remember his name) did the initial creation of this alternative world. The creation is ongoing, however, and apparently users are able to create their own islands and objects just like that – albeit with the application of a little bit of ingenuity or real world money.

It’s a bit blasphemous, don’t you think?

- God