Advice From God

Dear God,

I don’t know if you heard, but a couple months ago, after she and John McCain lost the 2008 presidential election, Sarah Palin told a television reporter that she was praying a lot about whether to run for President in 2012.

“OK, God, if there is an open door for me somewhere, this is what I always pray, I’m like, don’t let me miss the open door,” she said.

So, God, are you encouraging Sarah Palin to run for President in 2012?

- Paula

Paula,

It just so happens that I do have an open door, just for Sarah, but it’s not the door of the White House. It’s the emergency exit out of the governor’s mansion in Juneau.

I want Sarah Palin to open an ice cream shop in Wasilla. It is her calling in life. It is what I want her to do.

Please, Sarah, stop pretending. Get out your scoop, and practice your banana split.

- God