Why did you design the octopus with eight arms? Wouldn’t four arms have been just as effective? Couldn’t you gave gone to ten arms, as long as you were going for a big quantity?
- Jean-Jacques
Jean-Jacques,
The octopus has eight arms because it’s called the octopus. Duh. Oct means eight, you know.
Look, you’re not a deity, so you don’t understand how this works. First, you name the animal. Then you create it. So, I named the animal the octopus, and then I had to give it eight legs.
Same thing with the centipede. I named it the centipede, and then I had to give it 100 legs.
Yes, I know – centipedes don’t really have 100 legs. That’s because of Satan, who keeps on trying to make me look bad. He knocked some of the centipede’s legs off. He said it was for the sake of efficiency.
Efficiency is the devil’s tool.
- God
]]>While I was out with the guys Saturday night, I saw on CNN that there was an attack against a submarine by a giant pacific octopus. Apparently, it was caught on film. I believe that this might just be one of the signs of the End Times that we were told by you to be on the lookout for.
The return of Leviathan! Who would have thought I would live to see this day? If more submarines are attacked around the world, the oceans could very well turn to blood, as predicted in your holy book.
Of course, the damned atheists are denying it all. They’re saying that the video doesn’t show an attack at all!.
Lord, help me see the wisdom in your ways. Did you send that giant octopus to attack that ROV submarine, or was it the work of Satan.
- Diver Dan
Dan,
It was my work to send that octopus to the submarine all right, but the whole incident has been tragically misunderstood.
I sent that octopus over to the camera of the submarine to tell the guy operating the sub that he had some spinach stuck between his teeth. You know… right… there. But, before the octopus could try to communicate with the sub operator, he got blown away by the thruster jets turned into his face.
Oh, how I hate scientists. First evolution, now this!
- God
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