Advice From God

Dear God,

I heard a rumor that the domain name AdviceFromGod.com, where the Advice From God column is hosted, is the target of an attempted takeover. From what I heard, an offer has been made to purchase the registration rights for the web site, though the amount of money offered for the site has not been made public.

Is it true? Are you selling your web site, God? If so, how much would you be willing to accept for Advice From God?

- Ernie

Ernie,

Yes, it is true that I have been contacted by email by someone interested in buying AdviceFromGod.com from me. Apparently, they believe that they can offer advice from God without having God actually providing the amount.

To heap insult upon blasphemy, the person offering to buy this web site had the audacity to suggest that I go to sedo.com in order to achieve a valuation of the worth of Advice From God. To think – these people believe that they can audit me, God, the almighty!

What makes them think that I need their money? What do I need money for, when I am all powerful, all knowing, and infinitely valuable? I already own everything.

So, although this offer has been made, I will not be accepting it. There will be no takeover. It’s a downright satanic idea, if you think about it.

- God

Hi. I’m Jesus.

My dad said that I could use his blog to make a comment on something that has been bothering me for a long time now. It’s the Christmas carol Do You Hear What I Hear?.

Specifically, what hurts my feelings is the verse that goes A child, a child, shivering in the cold, let us bring him silver and gold.

People, why did they want to bring me silver and gold? I was cold! I didn’t ask for money. Didn’t they know that metals conduct heat?

My feelings were hurt long ago. Why are people singing to bring this trauma back to the surface?