Advice From God

Dear God,

Yesterday, you made reference to an eighth day of Creation, something that isn’t mentioned in the Bible.

My curiosity can’t hold out until you volunteer the information. I have to ask: What did you create on the eighth day, God?

- Louie

Louise,

I am so glad you asked, but I have a feeling you won’t be so glad when you get the answer. On the eighth day of Creation, I made an infinite number of parallel dimensions, each with an alternative version of the reality that you know. This infinite number of dimensions was an unavoidable consequence of free will, which I made when I created human beings.

You see, each alternative reality represents another possibility – the world as it would have been if someone had made just one different decision. Morally, that means that even if you live the most ethical life possible in this reality, in another dimension, you’re an incurable sinner.

That means that, no matter how hard you try, you’re doomed to burn in Hell for all eternity, and it’s all your fault… or at least your fault in some other dimension. Prepare the asbestos.

- God