Advice From God

Dear God,

When I got home from a trip to the grocery store today, a question occurred to me that I never stopped to ask before. I can’t think of an answer.

Please help me. Why do Christians wear seat belts when they get into cars? Couldn’t they just pray to you for protection, and then if they got hurt in a car accident anyway, figure that it was your will and accept the injury as a blessing in disguise?

- George

In Christianity, wearing a seat belt is a sacrament that is meant to re-enact the seating of Jesus as my successor in Heaven. The belt represents a hug from Jesus.

George,

- God

Dear God,

I’m a venture capitalist who has wisely placed all of his investments in companies that have failed, with insurance policies to compensate me for those failures. So, I’ve got a lot of money to play around with, even in these times which are difficult for most other people.

I like cars, and want to add some to my collection. Which cars do you believe offer the best long-term value, for a collector like myself?

- Ruben

Ruben,

For a collector like you, I would recommend Matchbox cars.

- God