Advice From God

Dear God,

Are you related to the Advice Goddess? I’m asking, because if you’re not, maybe I could hook you guys up.

Anyway, she’s writing a column today complaining about how Barack Obama has created a special White House council for women and girls without doing the same for men and boys. What’s your opinion? Should our society create councils for men and boys?

- Francine

Francine,

I am not related to the Advice Goddess by blood or marriage, except for the fact that I created her. That would make a relationship with her kind of incestuous, if you think about it. Of course, that didn’t stop me with Mary. She was my descendent, but I went for it anyway, because I was feeling lonely that night. Now look what I’m stuck with. A one-night stand births an entire religion, and people praying, praying, praying, begging for help all the time. I should have kept it tucked.

My comment about the White House council on women and girls is this: I want to know how come humans get all the councils and government assistance. How come no one ever sets up a charity for divine beings?

Did you know that most divine beings are single parents? Most of us are also the children of broken homes, or completely homeless. We’re also self-employed, which means that we get terrible health insurance.

It is true that I do get great visitation rights, but no one ever thinks to include me in parent-teacher conferences.

- God

You must be logged in to post a comment.