How Can We Best Show Thanks To God?
Wednesday, November 26th, 2008Dear God,
On this, the eve of Thanksgiving, I want to express to you how thankful I am to you for everything.
I am thankful to you for power saws and cracked windows and hoarfrost and potato bugs and lint and sea gulls and potholes and static electricity and hot air balloons and the number pi. You, who have created all these things and more than a limited, unworthy being such as myself, are to be congratulated, but what can I do to show gratitude to you?
You are strong and we are weak. How can we poor, humble humans best show thanks to you, in all your heavenly majesty?
- Kirstee
Kirstee,
The first thing you can do to demonstrate your gratitude is to knock it off with the obsequious bowing and scraping. It irritates me.
The second thing you can do to show thanks to me is to sell everything you have in order to buy as many sequins and as much glue as you can. Then, carry the sequins and glue on your back as you climb Mount Everest. When you reach the top, start gluing the sequins, one by one, to the exposed rocks you find there. Then, when you’re done, return home, earn some more money and do it all over again.
I would really appreciate that kind of gesture.
You asked.
- God