Dear God,

I see that you recently corrected Mike Huckabee’s impression that Jesus is the brother of the Devil. The thing is, Mike Huckabee says that you are on his side, intervening through divine miracles to promote his campaign for President.

I have a hard time reconciling these facts. Are you endorsing Mike Huckabee for President?

If not, will you endorse another presidential candidate in 2008?

- Kirk

Kirk,

I’m afraid that Mike Huckabee has taken my support for granted. I do not endorse Mike Huckabee for President. In fact, I have not endorsed any candidate for President yet.

I may do so, in the future, perhaps the near future, but first I have to submit the presidential candidates to a series of tests to determine their moral worthiness for the Oval Office. I intend to go back to what America’s Founding Fathers truly intended for their new Christian nation.

First comes the dunking test, in which the presidential candidates will be tied up, and thrown into a lake. Those that float to the surface will be exposed as being made out of wood, and therefore will be identified as witches. Those candidates that sink to the bottom of the lake will qualify to continue to the next round of tests.

- God

This entry was posted on Monday, December 17th, 2007 at 9:03 am and is filed under All God's Advice, In the News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.