Dear God,

I need to come up with a lot of money, as soon as possible. What methods do you suggest?

- Bruce

Bruce,

Off the top of my head, I can think of three options

1. Find a bag full of hundred dollar bills, and don’t report it to the police

2. Make up your own currency from the country of Blatigonia. Print out a series of bills in the denomination of 100 Blatigon dollars. Then, call your local bank, and tell them that you’re the Vice President of Foreign Currency for the National Bank of Canada, and that you just want to confirm that the exchange rate for the Blatigon dollar is one Blatigon for one American dollar. Wait an hour, then go down to the bank, and ask to exchange your 100 Blatigon dollar bills for American currency.

3. While your neighbor is away on vacation, set up a stage in their driveway, with big red white and blue ribbons like they use at car dealerships, and a big sign that says “Real Estate Auction”. Be sure to ask for a check from the winner.

Don’t spend it all in one place.

- God

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 6th, 2007 at 1:07 pm and is filed under All God's Advice, Professional Help. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.