God has only been to the Academy Awards once, when he walked the red carpet in a poofy sleeveless green silk dress with a yellow chenille hooded cape, accessorized with a charm bracelet that featured a locust in memory of a trip to Egypt, a silver bush in memory of his favorite presidential candidate of all time, and a unicorn, in memory of his first daughter Eloise, who died at the age of five in a tragic licorice accident.

The fashion critics said that the outfit made God’s butt look big, and he has never been able to summon up the courage to return to the event, although he has twice been nominated for Best Supporting Actor.

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