Dear God,

I’ve got a pretty good web site all set up, but I’m not getting many visitors. How can I effectively promote my web site?

- Sven

Sven,

First, you need to find someone to make into a prophet. I suggest that you choose a college student, as they will generally work for low wages and are looking for jobs that will help them get established in an interesting career.

Then, have the college student write as much material as possible. It doesn’t matter if it makes sense - just have your new “prophet” keep on writing, in a stream of consciousness if necessary, mentioning the name of your web site once or twice every page or so.

After you’ve got two or three thousand pages, pay your prophet, and print out a few copies. Send one to the Library of Congress. Store others in enigmatic sites, like caves, or archeological ruins, or weatherproofed “time capsules” buried in the ground.

Now, wait two thousand years or so. With time, your web site will be regarded as an essential element of your culture’s foundations, and a telling metaphor for human life.

- God

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 17th, 2007 at 11:23 am and is filed under All God's Advice, Professional Help. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.