Dear God,

I am sick and tired of mowing my lawn. It’s time consuming. It’s expensive, with the rising price of gasoline. What’s more, I feel guilty about it, running that engine back and forth, back and forth, putting pollution into the air, contributing to global warming just to keep the grass nice and short.

What else can I grow in my back yard as an alternative to grass?

- Julie

Julie,

I suggest large hoofed animals.

Giraffes are especially useful, because their long legs really kick up the turf when they run. If you put a small herd of giraffes in your back yard, with a fence to keep them in, I guarantee you that you won’t need to mow the lawn.

You might also try pigs.

- God

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 30th, 2007 at 4:56 pm and is filed under All God's Advice, Household Advice. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.