Dear God,

I have to have my American History term paper done by Monday morning, but I still can’t figure out what my topic should be. My teacher says that we get extra points for originality. What do you think I should write about?

- Billy

Billy,

What a lot of students of American history don’t realize is that, as omnipresent God, I been looking over the shoulder of everybody who has ever written a term paper. So, I’ve read a lot of term papers for American history classes in my time, but there’s one term paper I have never seen written: Andrew Jackson: Secret Philatelist

He subjugated the Indians. He outraged the upper classes. He championed States’ Rights. Yet, there was another side of Andrew Jackson we never knew: Secretly, Andrew Jackson loved collecting stamps.

His father called him a “sissy boy” when he found out, and gave Young Hickory the wildest whipping of his life. “No son of mine will keep a stamp collection!” Mr. Jackson roared. But Andrew vowed that one day, he would have the greatest stamp collection in the world! It was a decision that led him to adventure, fame, and culminated in the campaign to run the British out of New Orleans. No one ever knew that it was all for the stamps.

You have your assignment. Now, write!

- God

This entry was posted on Friday, January 19th, 2007 at 9:54 pm and is filed under All God's Advice, History. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.