Dear God,

I was just born again a few days ago, and so I’m a bit new to all this Christianity stuff. There’s a lot I don’t understand. For example, I was reading this piece over at a Christian web site called Overcomers Unlimited, and there’s this stuff about how Jesus is going to surround us with hedges.

The site says, “When we are born into the kingdom, God puts a hedge around us. After that Satan has no access to us except as God allows.”

I don’t get it. Help me out. What are these people talking about?

- Nicholas

Nicholas,

First of all, it’s me who plants the hedge. The Bible clearly states that. I can’t get my son Jesus to do any yardwork, no matter how much I nag him, the lazy boy.

Second, what the hedge thing is all about is global warming. First, the hedge creates a shadow. Second, it helps to absorb carbon dioxide.

You’ve just now been born again, but I’ll have that hedge up around you by springtime. I’d have it up sooner if my son wasn’t so busy playing around with his Xbox.

- God

This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 19th, 2006 at 2:16 pm and is filed under All God's Advice, Family Life, Scripture. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.