Dear God,

How does getting Yourself killed help You forgive people for stuff they didn’t do?

- Joe

Joe,

What you have to understand is that when that whole crucifixion thing happened, Jesus was kind of going through an acting out stage in his life. Any father will know what I’m talking about. Kids get self-obsessed, and desperate for attention, and sometimes they even think that if they just commit suicide, that everyone will love them and finally understand their pain.

The trouble with Jesus is that it actually took place. Let’s be frank about this: Jesus had a martyr complex. He really thought that he held all the bad actions of all humanity ever on his shoulders, and if he could just pay for it all, then everything would turn out all right in the end.

Look around you, and ask yourself: Did everything turn out all right in the end? No. These people who call Jesus the savior of the Earth are missing the obvious fact that the Earth has not been saved. Funny that.

As Jesus’s father, it really bugs me that people glorify what was really a twisted suicide pact that he and Pontius Pilate cooked up. It’s time to stop rewarding this kind of negative behavior.

Just ignore Jesus. He wanted the attention, and that’s why he misbehaved and threw away a perfectly good career in faith healing tent show revivals.

As for forgiveness for ancient sins, honestly, I lost track of all that a long time ago. I may be omniscient, but that doesn’t mean I don’t mislay a moral ledger every now and then. I honestly couldn’t care less about that whole apple from the forbidden tree thing. I’m over it, so why can’t people just let it drop?

- God

This entry was posted on Friday, November 24th, 2006 at 10:47 am and is filed under All God's Advice, Family Life, God's Followers, Theology. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.