Dear God,

Why have you made Sunday our day of rest? How should I best observe this sabbath?

- Polly

Polly,

Your questions are based on a common misconception. I never intended Sunday to be a day of rest. Rather, I intended Sunday to be the day of nest. Bad handwriting on the part of medieval monks is responsible for this error, I’m afraid.

On the seventh day, I nested. I got some contact paper, and put it in my kitchen cupboards. I took the little area rugs out on the line and beat them with a stick to get the dust out. I washed the windows from the inside and outside, and I cleared out the lines in my coffee pot by running vinegar through the system, as recommended by the manufacturer.

How you should observe the day of nest is your own choice. Perhaps you could indulge your nesting instinct by organizing your bookshelf in alphabetical order, or by finally organizing those recyclables you’ve been storing in the back closet so that you can get them out on the curb this coming week.

Above all else, be sure to observe your duty to nest this Sunday. Never forget that I, the creator of the entire universe, care very deeply about how human beings organize their weekend schedule. How could any sane person question that?

- God

This entry was posted on Monday, July 3rd, 2006 at 9:53 am and is filed under All God's Advice, Family Life, Odd Mysteries. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.