Dear God,

Whenever I travel with my business partner, he refuses to look at the safety card or the flight attendant when instructions are given for what to do in case the plane crashes. I worry that he is putting the safety of me and the other passengers at risk. What should I do?

- Petra

Petra,

What should you do? It’s as plain as day.

You should sell any real estate that you currently own. I have forseen that the housing market will crash within the next nine months.

Also, be sure to get plenty of fiber in your diet.

When it comes to your partner’s apathy, don’t worry. My omniscience tells me that there will be no plane crashes in your future.

If you can’t stop feeling nervous about travelling with your partner, take the aisle seat and chew some spearmint gum. I’ve got some big investments in spearmint farms in Paraguay, where most of the mint flavoring in American chewing gums comes from.

- God

This entry was posted on Friday, February 24th, 2006 at 12:48 am and is filed under All God's Advice, Ethics, Professional Help. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.