Dear God,

A friend of mine pointed me to a web site which cites the 20th chapter of Genesis, verses 17 and 18, as proving that you approve of the practice of contraception. Here’s Bible quote they cite:

“God healed Abimelech, and his wife, and his maidservants; and they bare children. For the LORD had fast closed up all the wombs of the house of Abimelech.”

According to this passage, it sure looks like you practice contraception - handing out contraceptives of some sort to all the women in the house of Abimelech.

Is it true? Are you really Pro-Choice? If so, what kind of contraceptive did you use?

- Hagar

Hagar,

It is true. I used contraceptives. But, it does not follow that I am Pro-Choice.

You see, I forced all the women of the house of Abimelech to take birth control pills. They had no choice in the matter.

Of course, I’m not Pro-Life either.

I’m Pro-God. My policy on sex and contraceptives is that I’m God and I can do whatever I want. The rest of you have to sort out this matter for yourselves.

- God

This entry was posted on Sunday, December 25th, 2005 at 7:39 am and is filed under All God's Advice, Family Life, Odd Mysteries. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.